Being Trans
Trans!? Trannie!?
Many in the transgender community hate these term! They feel they are terms of hate and disrespect, but I disagree. It is all a question of intent by the person saying them. If someone uses such terms with malice and hate, then of course that is objectionable. But if they are spoken with respect and understanding, I see no reason why those in the ‘T’ community should feel offended by them. I believe ‘Trans’ is a useful shorthand umbrella term to cover all aspects of transgenderism and ‘Trannie’ a nice friendly term to refer to a transvestite or cross-dresser if no disrespect is intended. I deplore some trans-activists who determine such terms to be unacceptable just because they are sometimes used in a derogatory way by those who have no respect. If we follow that path, just about every term we use could be deemed offensive.
My cross-dressing journey
I’ve always wished I had been born female and have cross-dressed since childhood but in the early days thought I was the only person in the world to have such an inexplicable urge. It was not until I was in my late thirties that I came to terms with my transvestism to such an extent that I felt I wanted to help others like me. So in 1979 I set up ‘Rose’s House’ in Sheffield to provide comprehensive help and social facilities – the sort of support that I felt in need of whilst coming to terms with my own desire to cross dress.
It was the success of this venture that led to the introduction of Repartee magazine ten years later. This was a pioneering magazine as there were no others like it at the time and it soon became regarded as a world leader. However with the growing dominance of the internet, and other trans groups following with their own magazines, the demand for Repartee as a printed magazine diminished which lead to its demise in 2016.
With the ending of the magazine, I was ready to retire from being so active within the trans community, but I have kept up organising an annual trans event to this day.
Understanding transvestism
When I ran Rose’s House, I found many transvestites were unable to explain there own desire to cross-dress. Consequently, they were unable to explain it to others, which was a problem if they wanted their wife or partner to understand. So when I launched Repartee magazine, I had the piece below in each of the early issues to try to explain why transvestism is nothing of which to be ashamed. I know many of our readers found it very helpful for them to come to terms with their own transvestism.
Transvestism
— you are not alone
— don't let it be a problem
— enjoy it!
Just the realisation that you are not alone can be very reassuring. Transvestism is really much more common than most people realise. Of course, no-one really knows how many transvestites there are, as most are so secretive about it, but estimates range from there being about 1 in 100 to as many as 1 in 20 in the male population.
The act of wearing clothes of the opposite sex is actually quite harmless. After all, women frequently wear men's apparel and no one thinks anything of it. But it should be remembered that not so many years ago, a woman wearing trousers would have met with the same sort of ridicule as a man in a skirt does today.
Transvestites are merely defying convention. It is not normal to see men in women's attire (other than for entertainment – usually as a parody), so it is perceived as abnormal behaviour and therefore to the unthinking minds of many, a perversion. This illogical reasoning has no foundation, but is born out of lack of understanding and often a misplaced belief that transvestism is a form of sexual deviation.
Transvestites themselves are often very confused about their own sexuality. Contrary to popular belief, there is no link between homosexuality and transvestism. Some transvestites are gay, but the incidence is no greater than for gays in the population at large. Most are heterosexual, and indeed, a strong attraction towards women often lies at the root of their desire to emulate them.
The fear of rejection from others is often greatly exaggerated in the minds of many transvestites. Those of us with no hang-ups about our own transvestism, who no longer feel the need to be so secretive about it, find that public hostility is by no means as widespread as many imagine. With a casual attitude to cross dressing, treating it as nothing more than a harmless pastime that gives you a great deal of pleasure, you may be surprised how many react with no more than amused tolerance.
It is when you treat cross dressing too seriously, as a great big shameful taboo, which you must keep secret at all costs, even from your wife, that transvestism is a problem. But when you come round to thinking that it is nothing of which to be ashamed, you begin to realise it is not a problem at all.
OK, sometimes you like to wear a frock! Big deal. So what!
Many women love dressing up in beautiful feminine clothes. It is perfectly natural that some men should have a similar desire to dress up. But male clothes are so boring! No wonder these men turn to women's clothes! Why should women have all the fun?
The secret of happiness of being a TV, is not to agonise about it – just enjoy it. Treat it as a positive, rather than a negative side of your personality. That‘s what Rose's is all about.
Transition from cross-dresser to trans-woman
During the latter years of Repartee, with Bella Jay acting as editor reducing my work load considerably, I was finally able to realise my dream of living full-time as a woman. In 2007, I had breast implants and facial feminisation surgery in Bangkok and officially changed my name in 2014. It wasn’t until 2016 that I finally had my gender reassignment.
Why do I want to be female?
When I was a child, I felt so jealous of the girls who were able to wear such pretty frocks at a local kids birthday party, whereas, as a boy, I had to wear such boring uniform clothes. For me, initially at least, the urge to cross-dress was simply the desire to dress-up in beautiful clothes and only female attire was attractive to me. I believe most people, male and female, have the desire to dress-up, but most men feel that they have to curb that wish by not actually venturing across the gender divide in the way they dress. However, the pressures to conform has become much more relaxed in recent years, but when I was young, it was pretty much taboo.
However, for most cross-dressers it is more than just the clothes. I have always felt that I had a softer, more feminine temperament than most men. I have never liked the tough macho approach of some men and deplore the way they sometimes treat women. Yes, I know the majority of males are not really that bad, but to me I just felt more akin to the female gender.
My Love of Female Attire
I really love dressing up ‘over-the top’ in gorgeously feminine outfits, the more exotic the better. I love the opportunity to wear period costumes, particularly those of the Victorian era; crinolines and corsets, etc. (hence my love of steampunk). I also have a passion for fetishy things like ultra high heels, tight skirts, and long finger nails, though as I get older, practicality does take over! I like dress-making (when I can find the time!) and I do make many of my own outfits.
Martine Rose